| Location | Waltham Abbey, Essex |
| Age | 1 day |
| Cause of Death | Not Listed? |
| Date of Birth | 20/03/2008 |
| Date of Death | 21/03/2008 |
| Visitors | 9,338 since 15/04/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
~In Loving Memory ~
Tia Lillie Byron McDonnell
Born on 20th March 2008 at 23:45
Fell asleep on 21st March 2008 at 21:00
Baby daughter of Hannah Byron and Andrew McDonnell
Tia was born weighing 9lb 2oz and had a thick head of long dark brown hair, much to the surprise of
everyone in the delivery room! She had dark blue eyes and was a lovely pink colour. She will be very
much remembered by those that got to meet her. She had the cutest big feet...the newborn socks I put
on her just about fitted.
Sadly Tia passed away at only 20 hours old due to Pulmonary Hypoplasia. When I was 21 weeks pregnant
the doctors found that Tia had a pleural effusion (fluid in a space in the lung where there should
be none) and this had caused her right lung to not be able to developed properly. Further
ultrasounds later found that she also had a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH). Tia was given a
60-70% chance of survival before birth, which unfortunately decreased when she was born. The doctors
realised her left lung had also not developed the way it should have. This caused Tia to not be able
to get enough oxygen round her body and they were unable to stabilize her. Her little heart stopped
at around 9pm as she no longer had the strength to fight.
The whole pregnancy was spent worrying about Tia and how things might go, by not just us but most of
our family and friends too. With Andy's help I was able to stay positive and we really believed our
little girl would be Ok in the end. I was referred to a Fetal Medicine Unit in London and attended
fortnightly check-ups and ultrasounds, which in spite of everything we enjoyed, as we got to see our
little girl growing at every stage and we got to see her lovely little face in 4D. At around 26
weeks pregnant I had a pleuro-amniotic drain which involved a needle going through me and into Tia's
chest to drain the excess fluid, which unfortunately re-accumulated a week later. The decision was
made not to drain it again as the cause was unknown and it would have been unnecessary to keep
putting both me and Tia through the pain. The plan was made for the birth and I would be induced two
weeks early so that the right people could be standing by ready for Tia entering the world. I went
into hospital on Monday 17th March where we had the shunt done again, in order to give Tia more lung
space when she was born, I was kept in for a few days after that. I met some lovely people while in
hospital and some great midwives. One night before bed I was put on the monitors to check Tia's
heartbeat and her little personality already started to show, she would have a lovely heartbeat
while the midwife was standing next to the machine but the moment she would walk out of the room,
Tia would 'play up' and make the alarms sound only to return to normal when the midwife came back
in. This would make both the midwife and me laugh, she was so much like her daddy already, a joker.
After days of waiting anxiously for a cot to become available and then a delivery bed, it came to
the Thursday (20th March) and I was finally to be induced, at 39 weeks. I was taken down to the
delivery room, more nervous than I've ever been in my life, not for the pain but for the worry that
I knew would come afterwards. The room was really big and all the equipment that lay waiting for the
baby terrified me. I was induced at 16:55 and then spent the next few hours trying to pass the time.
My waters broke naturally with what felt like a 'pop' at 21:50 and by 22:00 I was having really
strong contractions.
At 23:45 out came Tia with a hand over her face and the cord wrapped around her neck. The doctors
lay her on me for a second while they did what they had to do with the cord. I will never forget the
proud look on Andy's face when he looked at me, sobbing with tears telling me how beautiful our baby
girl was. I barely got to see her before she was sedated, intubated and whisked out of the room and
down to the NNU. They had to sedate her so that she wouldn't try and fight them as she tried to
breath by herself and this could have caused her harm. As soon as I got cleaned up and stitched from
my 2nd degree tear, I went straight down to meet my little girl.
She lay there so small and helpless in her incubator and from then on I didn't leave her side,
unless I had to step out for the doctors to get to her. She had taken a bad turn just after she was
born and they had to change her ventilation as she didn't like the first method. I had refused to go
up to the ward to sleep and Andy didn't want to go home, we both waited in the NNU waiting room a
few rooms down from Tia for the next 3 hours until we were allowed in to see her. She had a number
of x-rays and tests done over the next few hours which was showing that she was not doing as well as
we had all hoped she might when I was pregnant. Her right lung had ruptured leaving her with two
poorly lungs and not able to oxygenate her body. She was given a blood transfusion and then she
started to perk up, looking a lovely pink colour for what would be the last time. Her oxygen levels
were sitting at around 70-80% and this gave us so much hope for her.
The consultants explained how they had now tried everything they could for Tia and now we just
needed to hope she could stay the way she was, it was all in her hands. I stayed next to her for the
next few hours holding her tiny hand and kissing her and singing silly songs to her. The nurses
actually told me that while I was with her doing these things, her stats stayed good. It came to
about 20:00 that night and we had to step out while they did another x-ray and staff change over.
Just after 20:30, Tia's nurse was banging on our room door with tears in her eyes, telling us to
come quickly. Tia had taken a turn for the worst and her lungs were failing her...her stats were
reading at about 7% oxygen in her whole body. I walked up to my little girl crying and angry that
they had turned off her overhead heater, I was told this was because her temperature had been very
high. I knew what was happening but I couldn't face it. I pleaded with Tia to perk up but I knew it
was nearing the end. Andy and I were taken into a room where the doctor explained what was happening
and asking for our permission to turn off her machines. They assured us that they had been on the
phone all day to Great Ormond Street hospital who were giving advice and until all avenues had been
exhausted. Even still, I begged the doctor to try something else but there was nothing she could say
to me, she just sat watching me screaming and crying. The next thing, there was a knock at the door
with a male nurse calling the doctor out. The doctor walked back in and her next words were "I'm
sorry, but her heart has stopped"....Those words will stick with me forever.
Tia was supposed to be transferred to GOSH just as soon as she was stable enough to have repair
surgery on her diaphragm, but unfortunately, we never got there.
I sometimes feel so angry with myself for being so selfish and asking Tia to hang on when she was so
weak, but I just couldn't bare to lose her, I loved her too much to imagine being without her. It
seemed that she knew how hard it was for us to make the decision that was being asked of us, so she
made the choice for us.
Over the next few hours, we gave her her first cuddles and bathed and changed her. Walking out of
the hospital at around 1am without my little girl was just horrible. We made sure to get as many
memories of her as we could including photo's, a lock of her hair, the hat she wore in the NNU, her
cord clamp and her hand and footprints. They will never be enough, but they help.
I am truly thankful to the specialists that looked after Tia while she was inside me, especially Mr
Pandya and his team. We will be eternally grateful to the nurses and doctors in the Neonatal Unit
who did all they could and for not leaving Tia's side, they really are angels and we knew our little
girl was in the best hands there. Also the family and friends who have been there for us both and
have helped get us through this hard time. Also my midwives, Linda and Jaz, who have been great
support and who have not forgotten about me.
Tia was laid to rest in Waltham Abbey Cemetery on 2nd April 2008 after a lovely service held at
Waltham Abbey Church, by Rev Martin Webster. The church had few empty seats, if any and it was nice
to have such a good turn out for our little girl. It just showed how many people wanted to meet her
and how loved she is.
I would like to thank all those people who kindly and generously donated money at Tia's funeral to
the 'Tia Fund' that will soon be given to the NNU at University College Hospital, London, in Tia's
name to help sick babies like her.
Tia meant to world to both her me and her daddy and she would have been the most loved and spoiled
little girl there ever was. We may have only got 20 hours with her but it felt like a lifetime and
we will cherish those hours in our hearts forever.
Tia you are the most beautiful thing we have ever seen. You are the best thing that has ever
happened to us and we are, and always will be, so proud of you princess. We will never ever forget
you! Sleep well and go play with angels darling, our only comfort is knowing you're not suffering
anymore...
We love you so much, Mummy & Daddy xxxxx
---------------------
Update May08
We raised £650 from Tia's funeral which was donated to the Neo-Natal Unit at UCLH on 28th April 08.
With the help of Gift Aid the hospital should also be able to claim an extra £182 from the
government, giving them a total of £832! We suggested that the money be used to improve facilities
for parents who's babies were in the NNU. There is now a memorial of Tia on the wall of the NNU
showing the money that was donated in her memory.
---------------------
Update Sept08
I am pregnant again with Tia's little brother or sister due 5th February 09! We know what we are
having but are not revealing until the day, but lets just say we are over the moon! We know that Tia
has been watching over us as for once we are getting some good luck and things are looking better, i
hope that this little darling i'm carrying will resemble you so we can see you growing up with them
as the years go on. Nothing or no-one can fill the empty space we feel in our hearts, but I guess
having your sibling is the closest we will be to you my sweetheart. xxxxxx
Update Feb09
Tia's baby sister Layla Rose came into the world on 7th Feb 09 at 2:55am, weighing 8lbs 12oz. She is
happy and healthy and the image of her big sister..x
To My Princess
Hey sweetpea,
Thought I would stop by and say hi and tell you that i'm thinking of you. I miss you so much and think about you all the time. As Layla is getting older im missing you more and more as i know what i didnt get to share with you, all the cuddles, kisses, giggles... I would love you to be here to play with her and look after her, as I know you be the proud big sister and want to protect her but i'm sure you're doing that from where you are. Things have been really good lately, and its been really nice. Last year was the hardest year of my life but this year feels so different.
Mummy and daddy have finally agreed on a date for the wedding and it will be May 2012, in Florida. I hope you will be coming with us. Layla will be my flower girl and I would have given anything to have you there as one too, it wont be the same without you. Layla has been a ray of sunshine on my life and i dont know how i would cope without her. She is the image of you and everybody else thinks so too, which is really nice...i know there is some of you in there somewhere.
Mummy hopes to go and see a medium sometime this year so i can hear how you are doing, i think Nanny betty knows of a good one, so i hope she can help me. Well we've had uncle Robs staying with us for the last few days which has been nice and he's asked if we can come and see you tomorrow. We will bring you some flowers and i have presents for you from daddy and me, nanny mads and auntie julie that we bought you on holiday. We had a really nice time, but you know that as you were there werent you. Tia im going to stop writing here because mummys getting a bit upset, but i will come and visit your garden tomorrow.
I love you, my darling daughter, whom i am so proud of...
Mummy xxxxx
Special Little Lady
Hello sweet heart, i hope your being good and playing nicely. I wish i had to buy two dresses today instead of one. So i made that one extra special. Keep being a guiding light for your sister and mummy and daddy. They know your always with them. So enjoy your first hoilday, and keep everyone safe.If Hugs and kisses were wishes there would be only one to make. Sleep tight, nite nite lots of love nanny and grandad xxxx
Darling Grandaughter
Hello baby girl, it's been a long time and your now a year old.It only seems like yesterday i held you and said goodbye. But a year has brought a lot of changes. Your little sister is a beam of happiness, and you can see, although daddy and mummy miss you terribly, the joy Layla brings lights the way ahead. Grandad and I often talk about you, but you know grandad silence speaks alot. You're always in my prayers and give great nanny and grandad a big hug from me. I miss you all, but see your stars shining brightly at night. You will never be forgotten and always have a special place in our hearts.
Play nicely on the clouds, and remember your family while your having fun. Sweet dreams little lady.
Lots of love always Nanny and Grandad xxx
Easter Eggs
If only our children were easter eggs
Hidden safely in the grass,
We could search for them and pick them up
And hold them in our grasp.
We’d have a heavenly easter egg hunt
All with baskets in our hands,
Searching with a broken heart
Only we could understand.
“Oh look, I found your child here!”
“Hey, did anyone find mine?”
They are so beautifully coloured
How they sparkle and they shine.
These aren’t your usual easter eggs
They each have their own special glow,
That comes from way down deep within
Only a grieving parent would know.
We gather up our special eggs
With excitement all around,
For the gift that we’ve been given
For the treasure we have found.
We all stare with wonderment
At our children that have died,
We want to hold them once again
And release them from inside.
But we all begin to realize
We’d have to crack their beautiful shell,
The one that makes them sparkle and glow
The one they have earned so well.
We can’t destroy their beauty
And take them from their magic place,
So we give them an understanding kiss
As the tears run down our face.
One by one we take our baskets
With our beautifully coloured eggs,
And place them gently in the grass
As we walk away with bowed heads.
We look back in amazement
As our eggs begin to sing,
We see them flutter and move about
“Look – our eggs all now have wings!”
Then the Golden Egg begins to speak
“Your children are safe with me,
You’ll be with them again when the time is right
Together for eternity.”
We stand there in a circle of love
As we look up to the sky,
Watching our radiant eggs take flight
Knowing our children didn’t die.
Dear Mr. Hallmark
I am writing to you from Heaven
And though it must appear
A rather strange idea
I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit
Your shops to find a card
A card of love for my Mum
As this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought
Every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card
From a child who lives in Heaven.
She is still a Mother too
No matter where I reside
I had to leave she understands
But oh the tears she cried.
I thought that if I wrote to you
That you would come to know
That though I live in Heaven now
I still love my Mummy so.
She talks with me and dreams with me
We still share laughter too
Prayers are our way of speaking now
Would you see what you can do?
My Mum carries me in her heart
Her tears she hides from sight
She thinks of me and misses me
Sometimes far into the night.
She plants flowers in her garden
There my memory dwells
She helps other grieving parents
Trying to ease their pain as well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark
Though I no longer live on earth
I must try to find a way
To remind her of her worth.
She needs to be honoured
And remembered too
Just like children on earth
For their Mums today do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark
I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do
To you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her
How much she means to me
Until I can do it myself
When we’re joined in Eternity.
To The Birthday Girl....Who's One Today!! x
Happy Birthday sweetheart...
Qell I know it was yesterday now but I only had you about 45 minutes ago this time last year. We had a good day celebrating your 1st Birthday and short time with us, I hope you liked your flowers from me, daddy and layla, and the teddy bear and heart that me and nanny mads made you from nanny. I hoped the balloons with our messages on reached you when we released them this morning, daddy drew a funny face on his one just for you...hehe. On the evening we had friends and family round and had a little 'party' for you. We had lots of food and drinks and went outside to the big field near home and lit your Sky Lanterns. They looked so beautiful floating across the night sky. The weather has been lovely today, you wouldn't have thought a year ago today it snowed!! When we all got back we toasted you with champagne and talked about you. Me and daddy had a nice cuddle and later when everyone went home, as it neared to 23:45 we lit a candle for you and played your musical snow-globe and looked through your photo album, reminiscing.
Now it is the 21st and its your Angelversary, we'll be up again to see you later on today, but for now we're off to bed to get some sleep. Mothers Day on Sunday...what a heartbreaking weekend its been for mummy.
Layla sends her love too and has told me to blow you a big sloppy kiss from her :-) I'd have been lost without her to get me through the days, thank you for sending her to us, you knew how to get your mummy through the dark times didnt you sweetie...
Night night little angel, I hope you enjoyed your party today with all your friends in tiny tot heaven...
All our love forever and always, see you tomorrow
Mummy & Daddy xxxxxxxx
& Layla roo xxxxxxx
Hello Poppet
Hello Snow White
I met your baby sister on Monday and she is beautiful, and such a good baby I couldn't believe it!
Your Mummy is a fantastic Mum but we already knew that didn't we?! She is a natural and you must be very proud of all your little family.
Joshua's Daddy David looked at your album and was very moved. He told me afterwards that he kept filling with tears and had to have breaks and that it reminded hoim so clearly of our own loss. Your Mummy and Daddy did a lovely job with all your photos, poems and tributes didn't they? Their love for you shines through every aspect.
I know it is your 1st birthday soon. Joshie will be coming to your party - his Grandma Carol will be bringing him. I know you went to his birthday party last month, so you little cherubs are having a busy time of it!
I will be thinking of you in this run-up to your birthday and angel day and also of your wonderful parents. I know Mummy is planning something to honour your memory and celebrate your little life and I can't wait to hear all about it. She is very thoughtful and clever like that.
Lots of love to you Darling, and to Mummy & Daddy xxxxxxxxxxxx
You're a big sister!!!
Hello my gorgeous girl,
Well as you know you became a big sister on Saturday 7th Feb. Layla Rose came into the world and I know you had something to do with her getting here safely. I hope you saw that even when mummy was in the late stages of labour, just before I delivered Layla, I was thinking of you and kissing my 'Tia' bracelet. Mummys labour went brilliantly and it didnt even hurt too much getting her out. I can't believe how much she reminds me of you sweetheart, she is lovely and I know I will see you in her as the years go by. So now daddy and me have two beautiful girls, my little 'lillie' and my 'rose', my two little flowers...
Daddy brought your 'proud sister' balloon up today and I hope you are. As soon as Layla gets old enough to understand I will tell her all about you, we have already started showing her your photos but she can just about see us at the moment :-)
Mummy & Daddy will visit your garden tomorrow with Layla and we'll bring some nice flowers.
Please remember that you will never be forgotten or replaced, you are imprinted on our hearts forever. I love you to the stars....
Mummy xxxxxxxxxx
Congratulations!
To Hannah & Andy, & Angel Tia
Congratulations and best wishes on the safe arrival of your second daughter, and little sister, beautiful Layla Rose.
Thinking of you all at this very special time. Wishing Layla a wonderful and long life. She has the best parents in you and a wonderful guardian angel big sister in Tia.
Can't wait to see if she looks a bit like Tia!
All our love to all of you. Take care, and I don't need to tell you to enjoy this very special and precious time with your new daughter.
God bless you all.
Rachel, David, James & Angel Joshua xxxx
Create an ever lasting memorial for your loved ones.
Start here »
Using the options below you can add this memorial to your personal garden.
| I am Tia's ... | |
| Add to Garden: | |
| Notifications: | Text Message |
There have been 521 candles lit for Tia.
